So you don’t want your robots crushing objects that they pick up? You are going to need a decent finger sensor for them. The Robotic Finger Sensor uses IR distance sensing and data filtering to detect even the slightest touches:
IR light from the VCNL4040 distance sensor dramatically scatters when an object like a white coffee cup or human skin comes in contact with the face of the sensor.
The RFS requires 3.3V to work and comes with a 8″ 4-pin JST cable. Its silicon covering give the sensor increased grip. Not too expensive either.